


Not Even Once

by oogenesis



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Character Study, Denial, Humor, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 12:43:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10386900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oogenesis/pseuds/oogenesis
Summary: There's a meeting he has to be at soon, and a hard-on that won't go away, and desperate times call for desperate measures.





	

**Author's Note:**

> My humor style is a bit more rusty than my Poetic Elegant Prose art style, so apologies in advance.
> 
> also when will i write a code geass fic that isn't sexual

The problem was that Lelouch had a hard-on, and the problem was that Lelouch had to leave for a rendezvous with the top members of the Black Knights in twenty minutes, and the problem was that these two facts weren't cooperating with each other.

The hard-on wouldn't go away. It stood painfully between his legs, ignoring his glares at it. Could one Geass a part of one's own anatomy to lie still? He was on the verge of trying. He _really_ didn't have time for this kind of thing in his life.

CC was out. Nunnally was out at the park with Sayoko. He was quite alone.

Fine. Fine. With a sigh he unzipped his pants and brought it out, curling a hand around it, and resigned himself to the same thing that had happened the other few times; a painfully long and uninteresting masturbation session followed by an underwhelming orgasm. It was going to make him late for an important political meeting, because of his own unruly libido. How undignified. He was already furious with shame at the thought.

He got started, moving his hand loosely up and down the way his muscles weren't very accustomed to, and very quickly the monotony set in. This wasn't going anywhere. Wasn't one supposed to think of erotic things at this point? Wouldn't it help the process? Lelouch had never seen the point of thinking about girls the other times, but he was in a hurry, the clock was ticking, and his hard-on remained obstinate.

All right. Girls. All right. There was Milly, wasn't there? She was very, ah, buxom. He tried to focus on that, on the idea of her breasts. They would feel soft in his hands, right? The nipples hard? That was something of a pleasant mental sensation, but the idea of her face, her voice, her hair brushing against his skin - it didn't work. It just didn't work. He tried to remind himself of swim class in P.E, the bathing suit hugging her generous curves, boys falling all over themselves to get a closer look - it didn't do it. It wasn't working. His cock was getting sore and chafed from the fruitless effort.

Swim class in P.E., and Suzaku's chest had been round and firm with muscle, his shoulders broad and sun-warmed with drops of water sparkling on them, drops of water trickling down his abdomen.

Oh no. Oh _no_. Lelouch groaned and thumped his head against the pillow in frustration. Not this, not now. Not the carefully maneuvering his own mind around certain topics, forcing himself not to look at them, when he was trying to get off, and on a time limit too. Girls. Right. What other girls did he know -

Kallen, right? Kallen was a superb fighter, blunt and sharp in her power like a fist, or a bomb going off. He knew this was something many men found attractive in a women; he'd heard it discussed among the Black Knights. So many of them loved a woman who could kick their asses. Lelouch tried to follow suit, tried to put Kallen's power into sexual terms, but it seemed incomprehensible - he couldn't imagine it. The translation just wouldn't happen -

Suzaku, nearly superhumanly strong Suzaku, could probably hold him down effortlessly with one hand and fuck him just like that.

Lelouch's cock actually twitched at the thought; a warm shivering spike of pleasure that went through it and made his hips buckle inward. Oh, that was good. That was good. That was -

bad, actually, very bad, and in any case his cock was still becoming chafed. One was supposed to have lubricant, right? Lelouch hauled himself off the bed and made his way to the bathroom, his gait made awkward by the halfhearted yet insistent erection hanging out of his pants. God, this was all supremely undignified, and he had fifteen minutes before he had to get a move on. He snatched a bottle of moisturizing lotion off the shelf above the sink and hobbled back to his room with it, lying back down on the bed and dribbling some of it into his palm.

That was better. So, Milly was out, and Kallen was out. Shirley? The thought was like water slipping off an oilslick. Chiba? Even more fleeting. Who else -

Nothing was working, except for what clearly had worked just now. Lelouch took a deep breath, stared at the ceiling, and made himself work through the facts.

He needed to get off quickly. He was not going to get off quickly by thinking of - of girls. He was, clearly, going to get off very quickly by thinking of Suzaku. At the same time, thinking about Suzaku while pleasuring himself went against everything he'd carefully told himself and everything he'd buried and everything he'd refused to contemplate. It went against his own political loyalties, it went against his and the Black Knights' mission, it went against the searing sight of Suzaku in the Lancelot with his shoulders proud and unyielding. God, why couldn't he feel aroused by girls instead, any girl would do, rather than this...

But at the same time... he really needed to get this over with quickly. And, and -

Lelouch sighed, gave in, and admitted to himself the worst of it: there was a part of him that really, really wanted to get off to thoughts of Suzaku, that held a flood of luxuriously self-indulgent images in store behind a flimsy mental dam, that whined in eagerness to get started. His cock was warm in his hand and the clock was ticking -

All right. Fine. He was going to do this, was going to go along with this terrible unwise unbearably tempting idea, and then _never think about it again_.

Suzaku. Thoughts of Suzaku. To his dismay, the first thing that came to mind was how _good_ he'd looked in the Lancelot pilot uniform, how it clung to the firm roundness of his chest and the bunched muscles in his arms. Right, well, this was getting politically messy right off the bat, but Lelouch's cock apparently cared a great deal more about how the uniform looked a size too small than about politics. The mental image was - the only word to describe it was _delicious_. And, and -

\- kissing Suzaku, open mouth pressed together, tongues moving against each other, and Suzaku - Suzaku pulling Lelouch's thigh up to his waist, oh that was good. Unzipping Suzaku's bodysuit, slowly, watching it fall away over his shoulders - strong shoulders strong neck against his mouth, Suzaku's gasp against it - the fullness and roundness of Suzaku's chest under his hands. Oh, oh, what if he _squeezed_ \- 

God, he hadn't even gotten to the meat of the matter yet and already this was far too good. Loath as Lelouch was to admit it, there was clearly a part of him that really wanted to fuck Kururugi Suzaku, that was warm and trembling and hair-trigger sensitive at the idea of it. That was very bad, and he'd deal with it later, but for now it was working in his favor. He clearly wasn't going to be late for his meeting, at this rate.

\- and what if his hands traveled lower, unzipped the last of the bodysuit, and reached the full glory of - a shudder ran through his body - Suzaku's cock, a hard proud curve against his hand, pressing warm into his palm, maybe, maybe even, ohh, twitching a little - and a moan slipped out of Lelouch's mouth natural like butter, loud in the quiet room. What he was imagining was quite a bit larger than what was statistically probable, but _oh_ , wrapping his hand around its firm girth, running his thumb over the slick head, hearing Suzaku whine and gasp… The idea of it was setting a dizzying swimmingness in his mind, a pulse of luxurious warmth against his hand. 

Suzaku's voice. He could imagine Suzaku moaning, gasping, saying his name - "ah - _ah_ \- Lelouch, please -" with such preternatural clearness it was as if he'd heard it before, a sharp sketch in his mind. This was all coming so easily and naturally; and his hand was keeping up a quick steady rhythm slick with the lotion; and this was far, _far_ better than any of his previous attempts. Fuck, he hadn't known that anything could feel this good -

In Suzaku's lap, his thighs spread out against Suzaku's hips, naked, pressed up against each other, their hips rolling together, rubbing against each other. Lelouch had to press his hand against his mouth to stifle the small scream at that. It was a fervent heat now, he hadn't ever in his life considered that anything could feel this unbearably good, his breath coming quick and fast as his hand desperately sped up, his eyes squeezing shut -

 _Suzaku fucking him in the cockpit of the Lancelot_. The familiar Knightmare hum and whirr around them, Lelouch's forehead pressed against the leather seat back, his thighs trembling as Suzaku fucked him thick and deep and fast, hitting him inside again and again

The heat was building, reaching a fever pitch, and Lelouch was panting and whining, Suzaku's name falling out of his mouth in a fast and slippery mess of syllables among the gasps. He was going to come, the thought was almost despairing with how good it was, building and building unimaginably higher, Suzaku fucking him hard in the cockpit of the Lancelot

When he came it was like his entire body arched, contracted, his hips bucking. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. His voice squeezed completely out of his throat and then returned in a cascade of cries and it all went on and on, spasming and shaking, Suzaku, oh Suzaku...

It lasted a terribly long time. When he came down off of it his hand kept going, but that was too much and made him whine in his throat so he stopped. For a while he just lay there, breathing, his head swimming and his entire body still tingling a little. Then he slowly uncurled his cramped hand from around his cock and opened his eyes.

C.C. was standing in the middle of the room, watching him.

Right. Well. He couldn't even bring himself to be mortified at this point. "You're back," he observed, and, still breathing hard, propped himself up on his elbows to inspect the damage to his shirt. There looked to be quite a bit more propelled quite a bit farther than the other times. Well, that made sense. He felt as if half his brain had been drained out of him - or squirted, as the case may be. His cock lay red and spent against his stomach.

C.C. said, "Do you really think it's a good idea to let yourself get tangled up like this?"

"I don't know what you mean." The shirt was going to have to go through two wash cycles. No, on second thought, he was going to have to throw it away entirely - at this rate even looking at it would remind him of what he'd done. That was the opposite of what he wanted to happen.

C.C. looked at him coolly. "Don't play dumb."

He'd certainly been moaning Suzaku's name enough. Textbook. Lelouch buttoned his pants back up, got up from the bed and said testily, "I have it under control."

"I'm sure."

"I do, all right?" Already the incident was packing itself away into the safe of We Don't Think About That. It was a very full and very secure safe. He pulled off the shirt and tossed it into the garbage can.

"You know, maybe this wouldn't be happening if you masturbated more often," said C.C. “Like any other boy your age. Being normal might do you some good.”

"It doesn't work for me," said Lelouch tiredly. "Thinking about girls doesn't help, either."

C.C.'s stare and silence were enough to point out the obvious.

Speaking of the safe. "I fail to see how this is any of your business," said Lelouch tightly, and moved over to the closet to get a new shirt.

"It is my business if your sexual repression leads you to make poor battlefield decisions when Suzaku is on the scene."

"I told you, I have it under control."

"You'd better." C.C. turned abruptly and strode out of the room.

Five minutes before he had to leave. That was plenty of time. His wrist and arm were cramped; he stretched each muscle out, feeling the soreness. He’d really been masturbating very hard, hadn’t he?

Five minutes was too much time, actually; five minutes in which to not be distracted, to have Just Now swimming around in the back of his memory. (And, and what if, Suzaku on his knees -) Maybe he would just leave early.

His legs were still a bit shaky as he went out the door; a slab of vague tingling between his thighs. He shut away the thoughts with practiced ease, but the sensation remained, and that he couldn’t do anything about.

**Author's Note:**

> Gay thoughts: not even once.
> 
> Please leave a comment if you liked it! Feedback means a great deal to me, especially since I'm still not too confident in my humor style haha


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